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[quote=Anonymous]From the perspective of a nanny who has come in when there’s a child at home at least half day and at least one child at school all day: sometimes, it’s just harder to connect due to lack of time.

When I’m at home with a younger for child 3-8 hours more than older kids, a bond forms more quickly with the younger child.  There are plenty of things I like to do with older kids, but when my afternoon/evening hours are spent doing homework, getting them fed and bathed after activities, then ready for parents to do bedtime (or into bed), it doesn’t leave much room for fun and bonding.  I need time with older kids too, if you want me to able to bond with the kids, which is why I prefer to either start during a break (and actually do fun things with them, not shuttle to camp) or work weekends as well.

Some parents only want a driver and someone to manage the afternoon chaos.  But that’s not creating a bond with the kids.  The kids with adapt to the routine, but they don’t really attach to the person very much.

OTOH, this nanny is sabotaging the opportunities she’s been given.  Sarcasm will drive a wedge if there’s no understanding, even if the child understands that it’s teasing. OP, your child was home sick and the nanny refused to interact while the younger child was asleep; that would be enough to convince me that she had no interest in the elder child.

OP, I’d suggest finding a new nanny.  This one has shown that she has no interest in connecting with your elder child.  Look for someone used to working with older kids as well as toddlers/preschoolers, and then give her a chance to really connect with both children.  Good luck![/quote]

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