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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. To answer a few questions....kids are 5 and 7. I grew up in a family where respecting your parents was a non-negotiable. In dating I really had no way to see that DH would be the kind of dad who would let the kids run all over him. It gets tiring policing the kids treatment of him. I have to look like "bad mommy" for insisting that it's not ok for the kids to slam doors or tell their dad to shut up or call him names. 
When dating DH was not a workaholic at all. One of the things I loved about him was that he was similar to me in that we had great jobs, but always balanced our careers and made plenty of time for each other. I've never been very materialistic and DH says that's a part of why he fell in love with me. Now that we are married he is Mr. Work, Work, Work....to buy stuff I don't even want! I'd much rather spend time with him. The last big area that caused me to lose respect for him is just in taking care of his health. When we met DH was in good shape. He had to be for the kind of work he did. Now he does something different and does not prioritize being reasonably healthy.[/quote]

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