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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two DDs, two years apart. (They are now teens, but this happened when one was 2-4 and the other 0-2, I'd say.

The nanny favored my younger DD.  I didn't know that at the time because every time she came over, I rushed out to do shopping, etc.  Long-story-short, I didn't get tipped off until a cleaning lady mentioned it. Then I started to stick around in the back room and realized it was true.  I also noticed that when the nanny came, the younger one would run to her and the older one would hold back, as if she knew she was second-best.  Interestingly, the younger one was starting to "know" this too and take advantage of it.

So, there were repercussions.  Even though I got rid of the nanny, my older one struggled with her self-esteem about this for years (why didn't Larla like me as much as Little Sister?) etc.  It would come up, maybe once a year or so--long after I would think she would have forgotten about it.

OP, It was IMPORTANT that my older DD saw and understood that I got rid of the nanny --that I "had DD's back."  That I thought SHE, my DD, was important enough to do something about it.

Please get rid of the nanny.  I know it's inconvenient.  Just do it.  Your DD needs to see that she is important enough to you that you will protect her in this way, and not tolerate anyone who is not right for your DD, even if it's totally inconvenient to you.  This is not about spoiling, btw, this is about showing your DD that she is worthwhile.[/quote]

Great share. Get a new nanny, OP! Your daughter deserves better![/quote]

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