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[quote=Anonymous]Your dad is wrong but you have to decide what your goal is with him. Are you going for A) an authentic relationship whether close or distant where you tell him the truth? Or are you B) trying to maintain the peace for the sake of your other relatives or just to keep it easy. Both are perfectly valid imo and definitely okay to toggle back and forth.

My FIL is a lot like this with similar divorce situation and even though everyone is clearly mostly B), he will throw a childish fit to demand A), but he doesn’t really want A) at all because he doesn’t want to be accountable for his role in any of it.

If you’re in A) mode, tell him what you think. That you thought he was fine, you’re not going to split yourself in half to please him and it will take some time for him to settle into his new role. Practice or write it in a letter if you want.

If you’re in B) mode, apologize lightly and deflect. You don’t have to grovel insincerely, just say what he wants and move on. Don’t get dragged into an argument about it. Stay on the surface and be cheerful/concerned. It’s insincere but it’s strategic. [/quote]

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