Reply to My single friend wants to be a mom

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a single mother by choice to 2 kids.  Only my dad is alive and he needs my help rather than being able to assist me.  My siblings are not local.

The biggest consideration for me was finances.  Can you friend afford the life she would like for her and her child(ren) on her current salary?  She should consider the costs of life insurance if she were to pass away and who would take care of the kids.

Does she know she needs IVF?  I was successful with IUI and clomid both times.  I was 35 and 38 when I did it.  For me, insurance covered the cost of the IUI and the medications.  My only out of pocket costs were the purchase of the sperm and the co-pay at the hospital.

Otherwise, having a kid on your own is no big deal.  My neighbor also did it and she is an elementary school teacher in a different district than our kids attend.  She has no flexibility in her job and works during the summers as well.

When you are a SMBC you just make it work.  You build a community of friends---and you help each other out.  I would have regretted not having my kids.  Often I feel very lucky that I don't have expectations from someone else.  If I'm sick, I'm not counting on someone to help me out.  I know that I have to manage.  I know how to call uber eats and have take out delivered.  I know how to text a friend and ask them to bring the kids home from daycare.  I don't have to consult with anyone else about how I raise the kids, what camps to enroll them in, at school meetings, I don't have to work with anyones schedule but my own.  In a lot of ways, its very nice.

The biggest consideration really is finances.  But that's true for any family deciding to have kids.  Can you support another person?  Can you pay for or help with college?  Do you have the emotional availability to go to work and then make dinner and help with homework?[/quote]

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