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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are the signs that a man is searching for a serious relationship? . I feel like in this area I can't just rely on a man's words. [bI kind of prefer to date men who desire a serious relationship, before meeting me]I have too many guy friends who I watch tell women they are looking to settle down, but then have sex once and leave constantly.[/b] So what are some clues that a guy is looking for something long-term?[/quote]

My comments will be unpopular on here but how well did the women know the men?  I don't have sex on date 2 or 3 or 4 etc.  I kind of want to get to know the man before having sex.
Again, this does not seem to be the norm with dating on DCUM.  I've never had a man ghost me for not having sex on date 2 or 3 or 4.

I don't date men that are are married or men that are separated.  I prefer not to date men that are newly legally divorced.  I prefer them to have a year of dating
post divorce before I will go out with them.  A man that is married or separated or newly divorced is not available for a LTR.

I don't present myself as desperate for a LTR.  I let the man be the man.  On on line dating sites I have the men approach me.  The men ask me out.  I don't do lengthy texting before meeting.  I don't split the bill or bring up payment.  I am the gentleman's guest.  I have the men select the date venues.  I can veto date veues when I  don't feel safe etc but I make the man do the date planning at least early on.  If a guy wants to take me out for Saturday night he asks me out M T or latest Wednesday.

My guy friends tell me it is flattering getting approached by women on the dating websites but generally the relationships that stick with my guy friends are the ones 
in which they are interested and do the pursuing.  My guy friends also tell me there are very aggressive women on the dating web sites and the guys will go out
with these women but the women come across as desperate and aggressive.  I think it is easy to ghost these women after sex.

Ultimately there is a lot of value in dating the "diamond in the rough."  I dated an estate lawyer briefly.  He was considered a rock star in our town for dating purposes.  I could not believe it but women would come to our table at restaurants throwing themselves on him while I was present.  He is the type of guy that would ghost after s_e_x.

I think it is more about having standards of yourself as a woman and less about what the guy says.   I've never asked the guy if he wanted a LTR, honestly to me that
would come across desperate if asked that before date 10 or 12.  I do ask about the guy's family, children, upbringing and even ex wife.  It is amazing what you can learn
by just asking a guy about himself and the people in his life.  A guy that expresses a lot of anger at his ex wife is not good relationship material.

I think it is very unrealistic for a man to want a LTR with a woman who he has only seen in an online profile.  I think that is a very unrealistic expectation for a woman to have.
When men and women are on line dating they are both meeting a lot of people.  To the man, you are just another woman he is meeting to see how you look in real life.
I think it is healthier for women when they do on line dating to meet a lot of men in real life (from on line) and to have very low expectations from on line dating.

I'm a woman but dating early on should be very light and casual and more about getting to know each other.  I'm not a man but having a woman talk LTR with a guy that
they are communicating with online seems desperate.  Even bringing up LTR with a guy before intimacy seems desperate.  A woman should be dating multiple men
before getting exclusive and having sex.

A man will want to have a LTR if you are the right woman for him.  It is less about the man wanting a LTR but more about you being the right woman for him.

Again, this goes against popular culture in which women are supposed to pay for everything sleep with the guy on the second date etc.

As a woman I would be devastated if a guy ghosted me after sleeping with him. I've never had that happen personally.

[/quote]

Great post - you really got to crux of the matter.

-Married man in DC who have 10+ years of fun before settling down for the “right woman”[/quote]

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