Reply to Husband of 11 years suddenly watching porn

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[quote=Anonymous]This was not a sudden change. They only thing that changed is that you're aware of it now. Many people lie about how much they watch based on the shame they feel about sex as a result of how their families treated the issue when they were growing up. (The fact that he previously used words like "perverts" to describe porn watchers is a pretty obvious sign that he was not raised in an especially open or accepting family.) That shame is something that's hard to overcome, even in a good and trusting marriage. Anyway, porn is like a lot of things where it can be part of a healthy life and it can be a sign of more serious problems. The most important thing you can do is to get the lines of communication open, but that's going to take some coaxing because of the shame he feels. Don't take it personally or flip out if it takes some time and positive reinforcement to get him to open up. Your goal is to get to a better place with respect to the shame he feels around his body and sex and to be able to feel confident to talk about these things, not to get him to confess he watches porn.[/quote]

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