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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, a twist on the division of labor question that I don't think I've seen. I'm about 10 years younger than my husband and we have an 11 year old. I work a very well paying, shift work job. He's has a moderately well paying job and the opportunity to retire next year. We can totally handle this financially, but, in my mind, he's turning into a stay at home dad, while, in his mind, he's retiring! Right now, we have a half-time housekeeper, so there is very little housework to be done. We will still be able to afford her services. Currently, we have a pretty good division of labor.

But here's an example of where there is no meeting of the minds. Right now, I start an hour before my shifts (6:30 am) and work through lunch so I can do pickups at school (I don't have a fixed end time if I'm not working all night) . I do several 30 hour shifts a month, and I'll do the school pickup even after these. Any day I'm not working, I also do drop-off. So, we really do split pickup and dropoff 50/50. I said, that if he stops working, I'd expect him to do 90% of the pickups and dropoffs. Why would I get up an hour early, while he's sleeping, to start work, so I can pick up in the afternoon? Or add an extra hour to my commute after working all night when he's available? I don't mind spotting once or twice a week, but it seems like that should be his job. Same thing with shopping/ dinner prep. We pretty much split it. I really feel like if he's home all day, that should get done during the day. Of course, I'd still help with evening cleanup and routine, but that's pretty basic with a middle schooler. I also still handle the "management stuff" like appointments, camps, forms, etc.

I guess, I feel like he's getting a pretty good deal - basically a stay at home parent of a school age kid with 20 hours of hired cleaning help a week. He, on the other hand, feels like his work time now converts 100% to "his" time and we maintain the status quo otherwise.

Thoughts?[/quote]

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