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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- my DS13 has ADHD (so, given that we haven't applied to colleges, you can decide if this is useful or not).

We're prioritizing grades and the executive functioning needed to achieve good grades, because, while ECs might help DS get into college, they like won't help him stay.

That said, because of reasons you stated, we're going outside of school for extras. DS13 plays the piano and we can schedule lessons and practice at more convenient times. We're doing summer camps that not only have academic benefit but might also have some some hooks, like coding, test-in math camps, language immersion, etc. Because DS was blessed with a high IQ, I applied him to scholar programs that we can use a) for summer camps and b) can go on his resume (Davidson, JHU, etc).

At school, DS will participate in band during school hours with only occasional after school practice-- he does the math team, but it's early (starts an hour before school). We would love to do school sports, but DS isn't interested + there is a big after school time commitment. We can't do that every day because with 2 hours of homework and a countdown to when his meds wear off, it will harm his grades and cause him a lot of anxiety. [/quote]

OP-- I guess to expound a bit more, you might consider activities with a primary weekend commitment. For instance, I volunteered at a hospital when I was in HS- you could look at clubs vs. traditional sports if your DS is interested. There may be less of a formal time commitment or it might be more flexible + plus it's social and fun. 
At DS's school, the math team starts off as a recreational team (open to on-grade or advanced math students), then the kids test for a spot of the formal team- so, for the kids who don't make it in, it's still a valuable activity to list for school participation + helps with academics.  
If you decide on formal extracurriculars, maybe there is a way to get a lot of homework out of the way on weekends or during the day? One accommodation that our excellent private school is providing for DS-- a full year of study hall. So, while many of the other kids are filling that time with an elective, DS is using it to get a lot of homework done while he's in school mode and has teachers available to answer questions. He also goes to every tutorial and after school additional learning session -- he's managed to cut his homework load by over 50% and raise his grades by using his time and resources wisely-- a great skill to take to college. 
Anyway, I'll stop- but we are in the same boat and this is what is/will work for us. [/quote]

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