Reply to What does 2 kids in two years (2 and a month) look like?

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[quote=Anonymous]Read Siblings Without Rivalry.  Nurture Shock has a good chapter on siblings too.  The research into siblings says that the more you focus on making them “have a good relationship,” the more it will backfire.  Instead of making them be fake nice because they are family, instead teach them both good social skills generally—empathy, respect, consideration, communication, compromise, self-awareness and self-expression.  If they have positive social skills as individuals, then proximity will be enough for them to be close.

The biggest thing you can do as you make the transition is to model empathy and respect.  If your 2 yo is jealous or angry about the baby, acknowledge that.  Carve out time for the toddler at specific times each day so that he can predict when he will have your full attention.  Let him express all of his real feelings about the baby, good and bad.  Simultaneously, teach him how to “listen” to the baby from day one—“She is all done being held now.  See how she is pushing away?”  “When she smacks her lips, it means she is hungry.  I need to feed her now.” “She’s rubbing her face because she’s tired.  I’m going to rock her in the chair to get her to sleep.”[/quote]

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