Reply to 17 year old son planning on tricking us to spend night with gf -gf’s parents away

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[quote=Anonymous]Am I wrong for thinking it’s inappropriate for him to spend the night with his gf (just turned 16) knowing her parents are out of town and would definitely not approve? 
I just can’t get through to him. Now I inadvertently find out his plan to deceive us by leaving his phone with a friend and pretending to spend the night there while really staying at his gf’s.

How do I approach this? He asked me if he could spend the  night with her while her parents are out of town because she is scared to be alone. I said it was her parents’ responsibility to handle that not her 17 year old bf.  i know that her parents planned that she spend the nights they are away with a friend and I know her parents do not approve but he is trying to convince me that they don’t care. I told him that if they tell me it is ok then I will think about it. Knowing that they do not he berated me for being a helicopter, that all his friends are allowed to stay with their girlfriends and that I am too obsessed with monitoring where he is etc. The rules we have are that he tells us where he is, no sleepovers after a party unless out of town with good friends and home by 1:30.
Tonight is the night. He tells me he is spending the night a with friend. I remind him of the no sleepover rule and tell him to be home by 2. I see the dots that appear when someone is texting back but I receive no reply and he is  not home. 
The deceitfulness is unacceptable. I only found out about it because his phone crashed yesterday and when he logged back on he somehow connected to my phone so I have all his messages  yesterday afternoon along with the plan of the deceit.

I am so disappointed and upset with him. I feel line going around to the gf’s house and the friend’s house but I fear I will come across as a maniac. 
How do I handle this effectively when he comes home?

We have noticed these  defiant behaviors in him over the last 6 months since he started dating this girls. He’s always been a very well behaved boy and Ive never had to impose consequences on him because he usually obeys the rules ( he may be a few minutes late coming in but nothing major). I’m not sure if it’s her influence or a function of his age. 
Am I being too restrictive causing him to have to lie to do what is considered normal for his age? 
I know I’m rambling but I’m confused and upset. I want to handle this the appropriate way. Should I stop him for going out on New Years ever as a consequence for this? 
What would other parents do in these circumstances? I’m really upset right now so please be gentle with the assaults 
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