Reply to adoptees, would you spend holidays with your biofamily?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "adoptees, would you spend holidays with your biofamily?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an adoptive parent. If my child had the opportunity you describe to spend Christmas with her biological family, I would encourage her to do so. I would not feel betrayed because their is no betrayal.

Every family is complicated and has dysfunction. Don’t let that stop you either.[/quote]

Thank you, PP. This was reassuring and helpful. I have felt like if the sibling doesn't want me there, I should respect that boundary since this is his family in a way that it can never be mine. On the other hand, that feels like us all going back to pretending I don't exist, just so he can save face. (He reacted poorly to the news initially and has never found a way to walk that back.)

As for my mom, her meeting my biomom for the first time was hard for her even though she wanted to be happy. They didn't really get a chance to become friends before my mom died. So, that's the part that feels like a betrayal. I know my mom would want one thing, but might feel another. And to do it on Christmas too? It's a gut punch. OTOH, everyone in my family is dead. My biofamily is all that's left. Spending Christmas without any family for the rest of my life in order to not hurt the feelings of a dead person is kind of ridiculous, even if it makes sense from an emotional point of view.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics