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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Yes, you say that every year."

[If she pushes.]

"I've made it clear that I didn't used to like Christmas because of the way Bill treated everyone. I'm moving forward. If you'd like to celebrate this year with me, I would love that. Are we celebrating now, or are we backtracking?"[/quote]

Way too much engagement here. Try this instead:

Mom: ...it’s funny because you always hated it as a kid. 
OP: I wonder if it’s going to rain tomorrow. Did you catch the weather report? [/quote]

I've done this and it's fun to see how they react. If mom keeps escalating anyway to the point of screaming, I just very calmly say something like "I can tell you want some time to yourself. We will give you your space." If she stays at the same level i just keep doing what PP describes.

Mom: You always were so self centered.

Me: The sky was such a beautiful shade of blue when we drove over here.

Mom: I made so many sacrifices for my aging parents. I did it all because it was the right thing to do. I would never say "no" to my mother.  (She did almost nothing and left it to her sibling who was miserable and mom had no empathy. Her sibling needed intensive therapy to deal with the verbal abuse of their aging mom and developed many health issues even dealing with her is assisted living because grandma was causing so many problems and at risk of being kicked out. Mom was useless in helping and aunt and uncle were livid with mom for making excuses, but history is being rewritten because the siblings are dead).

Me: (Look at watch). Oh my goodness, husband we are already running late for x, y,z. Mom, nice seeing you. Larlo and Larla, time to go. (Already prepped then for possibility of needing to leave abruptly.)

Me: [/quote]

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