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[quote=Anonymous]My DW and I are pregnant with our first child; we're due in early August. We just found out that my brother and his wife are due in Late August, also with their first.

To give a backstory, our parents live in the same town we grew up in, a seven hour drive from DC, and a four hour drive from where brother and SIL live. One issue that's always been bothering DW and myself is that my parents always expect us to visit them, but they rarely travel to visit us. To give an example, in the past two years, DW and I have gone to visit my parents in my town on six different occasions, while they have only visited here twice. My parents are both very able bodied and financial secure. My Dad is semi-retired, but currently does consulting work on a part-time basis that he can do remotely and pretty much on his own schedule. My Mom runs a non-profit that can have tricky hours, but she pretty much makes her own schedule and can work remotely when needed. While they always say "oh, we have to come visit you more often!" but then there always seems to be some excuse (work was crazy, the weather was bad, etc, etc). I should also mention that my parents do care for my elderly Grandmother with my Aunt (mom's sister), but my Aunt is more than capable of handling the responsibilities of taking care of my Grandmother for a few days.

The issue is even more prevalent with my brother and SIL. Since they live closer do our hometown, they visit more often than DW and I do (I'd say they go once every 2-3 months), but my parents have come to visit him and SIL probably the same number of times they have been to DC. My brother and I have talked about this subject and how it bothers us, but my brother is of the mindset that "yeah, it sucks, but they're family so it is what it is."

Now that DW and I are going to be parents soon, we've talked about how it should be the expectation that they will come down here to visit with us and their grandchild more often than us going up there to visit, as the seven hour drive could be problematic with a young child. Given that my brother and SIL will also have a child the same age, I feel that this is a unique opportunity to change expectations within our family that the "kids" should always be coming to visit them, and that my parents should come to our respective homes to visit their grandchildren more often.

Having said that, I have a few questions regarding how to proceed:

- What's the best way to have this conversation with my parents?
- How much should I involve my brother and SIL? On one hand, I feel like if both couples talk to them about it, it could be a strength in number situation. On the other hand, it could make my parents feel like they are being ganged up on. While I've talked to my brother about how he feels regarding my parents not visiting him often, I don't know how he and SIL feel about the issue in relation to their child. [/quote]

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