Reply to At my wit's end--what the heck do I do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP.  :(

One thing that sticks out to me is you saying:  "I don't know what the hell is going on, but pull yourself together and get over it."  And then beating yourself up over it.

That's really not a huge deal.  In my own relationship, I could say that to my DH or vice versa (and we would say it in a normal tone of voice) and it would be ok.  Part of a partnership is being able to call each other out.  You can't be walking on eggshells all the time.  Misery.

I think the thing you really need to consider is how this will affect your son.  Growing up in a household where, as a child, you have to be on eggshells is really damaging.

[/quote]

OP here. I didn't say it in a normal tone. I was mean. Like, really mean. Zero compassion. And that's not something we'd ever say to each other, even calmly. A phrase like that is pretty close to nuclear option in our relationship.

Okay, so growing up in this current environment? Not good. I get that. But is it any better if DS is spending 50% of his time with a father who seems to be an unmitigated emotional disaster? At least at the moment I can buffer things. The idea of DS having to navigate DH's depression alone, at such a young age? It terrifies me. Right now, DH can't handle an hour with DS without some sort of meltdown. And I know the courts go 50/50 unless there's a really compelling reason such as prolonged abuse or neglect.

I just genuinely am at a loss of how to move forward, be it with or without DH. (my therapist is out of the country right now, ugh, otherwise I'd call and beg for the next available appointment)[/quote]

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