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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for your responses.

We had a pretty good sex life prior to marriage and then it decreased slowly over the years.  I actually had a lot more sex with my ex-boyfriend but I think that was b/c I knew the relationship wasn't good and I was subconsciously trying to hold onto it with sex.  Anyway, the ex was a lot more selfish of a lover than DH is, so while we had more sex, it wasn't nearly as emotionally or physically satisfying as it was/is with DH.

Just to clarify- I would never tell DH his efforts are off-putting- I meant more, how do I discuss the lack of desire/sex issue without saying something as cruel as that.

Part of the problem, I think, is that he often wants to get intimate later at night.  We have very different sleep needs; I need at least 8 (don't get it, but always hope for it) and he could go on 5 or 6 hours a night.  So he wants to hang out with me at night and then when we go to bed, I'm exhausted and he wants sex.  I've told him before that earlier is better for me, since I'm really tired at night and our kids have sleep issues where we never know if we'll be up later that night.

I've been done with pumping for about 3 or 4 months now and I would've thought things would've been better.[/quote]

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