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[quote=Anonymous]Please be kind, as this is a very difficult post for me to write.

I am (mostly) happily married with two children 3 and under.  My issue is that when DH tries to be intimate with me, I cringe.  I find his efforts repulsive and his touch doesn't even feel good- it irritates my skin.  I have no idea why this is, as we have a happy marriage (aside from this issue, which he knows something is off but neither of us really knows what's going on) and I love him very much.  And before anyone suggests it, no, I've never been sexually abused.

I don't know if part of the issue is that we had 2 children within a year of each other.  I don't want to write too many details b/c I have friends who read DCUM and we have a unique situation. Basically DC1 was home for 3 months when I got pregnant with DC2.  I also was working super crazy hours when I got pregnant (16-17 hours a day) and it took us awhile to come to grips with the pregnancy.  Once DC2 was born, I ended up having to exclusively pump and my nipples/boobs were really beaten up. I couldn't even let the shower stream hit them without severe pain for quite some time, and I battled persistent thrush, a vaginal yeast infection, and a lot of pain during sex.  For a long time, I didn't let DH mess with my boobs b/c quite frankly, after being hooked up to a pump all day and dealing with two needy small children, I didn't want anyone else pawing at me.

But now it's been awhile and for some reason, I still have no libido.  And even when we do mess around, I just want to push him off me.  I went to the dr awhile ago about the pain during sex and was given an estrogen vaginal cream. I only used it once b/c the dr said that he thought it was ok to use while pumping for a boy, but to use it sparingly and I decided the risks weren't worth it.

Unlike others on this board, I have no complaints about DH as a husband or father. He pulls more than his weight around the house and with the kids.  He is a good man.  I feel badly b/c he's mentioned to me that he feels like we're living like roomates sometimes due to the intimacy issue. He doesn't deserve this and I don't want to live like this either. But how can I tell him that his efforts repel me?  I can't do that.  It would crush him and it's not hin, it's me.

Do I need to get back to my OB or do I need counseling?[/quote]

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