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[quote=Anonymous]I have two DDs 17 and 14.  DH grew up with a single mom who between work and going to school at night, never parented so DH does not have any parent role models.  I was an elementary teacher who believes in setting clear rules with consequences and understood the need to be consistent yet reasonable.

It has been a constant battle to get him to enforce rules and consequences.   After rules have been broken and consequences need to be experienced, (phone or car taken away for the day, for example,) he has always jumped in and taught our DDs that they can whine, complain and throw a temper tantrum and he will "let them earn their privilege back" by doing something like emptying the dish washer.   :roll:  :roll:

DH has never supported putting limits on phone and computer time nor helping with time management.  (He believes in "letting them figure out their bedtime."  This has lead to my 17 year old with executive functioning issues get 4-5 hours of sleep a night.  No screen time rules mean DD2 spent all yesterday on the computer and phone  and DD 1 started studying for her AP physics test at 10 pm last night.)

I have been battling for several years for DH to support a limited number of hours spent with screens and where they are allowed in the house.

Finally after i packed my bag and drove off to a hotel a few weeks ago to get his attention about how done I am fighting for support, he is starting to see my frustration.

We have discussed the following - no screens upstairs.  This means laptops and phones.  School computers which have limited access to websites can be used in the bedroom for homework.
Phones are not allowed in the same room during homework time else the notifications makes a 30 minute assignment turn into 2 hours.

He is saying that I am unreasonable since DD1 was still at the computer at 11:15 last night watching youtube when her bedtime is 10:30.  It then took her until after  midnight to turn off her light.  I discovered she had a home laptop in her room so I left her a note this morning explaining why took her phone that was charging in the kitchen away for the day.

DD1 was quite upset this morning with her phone taken away and DH texted me that on the day of a big physics test, I should have had a little compassion.  I explained that she is missing her physics test for her dentist appointment and will take the test tomorrow. He then said I was too black and white and need to let up some.  I also reminded him that i took away her PHONE - not her right arm as she missed bedtime by a significant amount of time due to her choosing to watch videos and having my laptop in her room at night!!

I told him if he was just consistent with enforcing reasonable rules, she would have "gotten it" a long time ago.

Yes, we are in therapy and the counselor is helping him but when his DDs suffer "pain," he rushes into smoothing everything over for them. He then digs in that I am setting unreasonable expectations.

Anyone else have a lawnmower parent to won't parent by influences behavior?[/quote]

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