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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds like she is an introvert and a nervous new mom. It is possible she dislikes your family? Sure. Is is possible she controls your brother? Sure. But I see no concrete proof of either at this point.

I assume your brother is telling you this things, complaining about his wife etc? You clearly must get some time alone with him (at least over the phone) if he is able to find time to tell you these things.

Your brother is not a puppet- if he is not spending time with you that is his choice, ultimately. We see the same theme over and over again on this board.

I would
1) be polite to SIL- you don’t need to be best friends 
2) realize that new moms are sometimes this way with new babies- thing long term. She will probably eventually loosen up
3) beware talking to your brother too much about his marriage issues IMO- and if you do be careful what you say. Many marriages go through a stressful time after the birth of a first child. They will likely make up. And then your brother will remember the negative things you said and worse- may tell her as well.

Basically- MYOB, be polite. SIL will either warm up and loosen up or she won’t- you have no control over this. Tread carefully with your brother- he may make changes in his marriage or the way he relates to your family, or he may not. There is absolutely zero you can do about any of this.

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