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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have been married over 35 years. They’ve lived separately for 5 years and are now pursuing divorce. My Dad has had a stable income and lucrative side hustle. My mom has been very ill and is disabled and has not worked in many years. My dad is looking to stop his daytime job and just do his other gig.

My mom is worried she will be left with nothing. It sounds like she has a good lawyer.

Does anyone have any insight regarding gray divorce? Any online support forums?

Thanks![/quote]

I highly recommend reading this book  " The way they were: Dealing with your parents divorce after a lifetime of Marriage" by Brooke Lea Foster... I went through this with my parents, who divorced after 45 (yes 45) years of marriage. It was quite a messy divorce, and the book was helpful with setting boundaries, as well as helping me talk to both of my parents and express my feelings regarding their behavior.  The divorce has been final for about 6 months and there are still challenges - even though both parents have "moved on" with other partners there is still a lot of hostility and animosity -especially from my mother towards my father (who initiated the divorce.) Much of this stems from the financial disposition that was decided by the courts (she has to give part of her pension as it was considered a marital asset in the state they live in).

Being totally honest it was a brutal 18 months that took quite a bit out of me. Having your senior parents divorce does put a lot of strain (and additional financial worry in our case as we are concerned about how we will be able to financially support two parents who frankly, don't make the smartest financial choices and spent entirely too much on lawyers dragging out every little detail over the whole process).

hang in there, and the best advice I can give is to set boundaries with both sets of parents.  [/quote]

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