Reply to Struggling to accept gender nonconforming son

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[quote=Anonymous]OP has two separate issues going on, the GNC and the POC.  I echo the PP who mentioned your son is an outliner in his community and if he was in an environment where there were more kids like him perhaps his views would be different.  I know you are dealing with a double whammy, I wouldn't be able to touch on where you can find many POC GNC kids in the DMV for your son to hang out with so he isn't an outliner.

But separately, I can touch on the POC outliner.  My nephew and niece are biracial but they are very dark so the world sees them only as black.  My sister (who is white) put them in daycare and later in a school where they were the only POC in their homerooms.  And then my niece, who has beautiful curly natural hair, started saying to my sister she hated her hair, that she wanted to be white, that she wanted blonde hair, that black people hair is dirty/smelly and didn't like her skin. After speaking to her teachers and asking my niece, it doesn't appear any kids were saying this to her, she came up with these conclusions on her own and the guidance counselor at school suggested that it is probably because all her friends are blonde hair/blue eyed white.  She doesn't see anyone else like herself at school (and probably not very much in the media, tv, etc, but that's for another thread).  My point is, when your son is the only POC among his friends, it is human nature to want to fit in and be like the others, hence his statement re black people.

Get him around some other POC children.  Good luck. [/quote]

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