Reply to Would you cut off an evil, toxic mother?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had to cut off my mother after she started affecting my children. I realized there was no way for me to maintain a relationship with my parents without my children being negatively impacted, either directly from her abuse or because she made me depressed and then they have a mom who isn’t healthy. Furthermore, I refuse to model such an unhealthy relationship with anyone for my children.

She chose to get pregnant and raise a child. It’s not my fault if it inconvenienced her and she did a piss poor job of parenting. Her mental illness is hers. I don’t own it, and I certainly can’t fix it. She has resources to get help, change, and be a better person. Every day, she wakes up and chooses to go further down her current path. That’s on her. It’s also not my fault she had shitty parents and lacked role models. I’m living proof that the cycle can be broken. It’s a shame she didn’t take the opportunities she had to be a better person when it could’ve mattered to her family.

Think about how all this is affecting your kids before you invite your mom to do more damage in your family. Do you want her to treat them the way she does you? Probably not. So why allow her to do it to you and risk her lashing out at them, or at a minimum letting them see you be treated this way and think it’s ok? [/quote]

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