Reply to Help me with the mechanics of leaving my explosive/verbally abusive spouse

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[quote=Anonymous]Get a lawyer consult and figure out what is needed for divorce. It'll set you back several hundred bucks, but it'll give you the solid info you need.   Then proceed exactly as you have been - stealthily.  Photocopy everything.

I do think you should rent an apartment so you have someplace to go, and get it all furnished, etc.  Then you can leave him with a solid plan in place.  Appear accommodating in whatever note you leave/send him - I am leaving you and filing for divorce.  The kids are with me, I propose a temporary custody arrangement of XX.

I would take half the money from the joint account, too, and put it in an account just in your name.  So that's your cushion, or possibly a bargaining chip.

Decide what matters most to you and work toward that final solution.  Draw up a custody plan, an separation agreement, etc (on the advice of a lawyer) and leave those for him.

Remember - you said he is explosive - the most dangerous time for a woman is in leaving the spouse.  So go about this in a way that protects you, line up all your ducks, then hit him with it all at once.  Be vigilant about safety for the first few weeks.  [/quote]

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