Reply to Husband’s Mother Died On My Birthday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A little background - for my birthday I like to do something simple - maybe dinner and a movie. Last year my husband’s mother died on my birthday. It was a major birthday for me and we had planned to take a trip up to NY and overnight but in light of her death we did nothing and just focused on family and funeral arrangements.  Although the anniversary date of her death is still a couple of months away (next Spring), he is already talking about the date and how he wants to plans to honor her. I get it but I’m ordinarily very low key and really only ask for a little extra special treatment a couple of time per year - my bday and Mother’s Day.   I also lost my mom three years ago and took it really really hard (still am) so not having her on my birthday always weighs heavily on my mind and it now sounds like there will be an even bigger cloud surrounding that day given how my husband is acting. Any advice?[/quote]

It would be much easier to celebrate on a different weekend. Pick a weekend before or after. The first anniversary is often the hardest and you can't just reschedule grief. There is no way he will be in the right headspace to be all happy and excited and gushing over you like you want. Why not plan a NY trip a couple weekends before or after? Celebrating birthdays can be on a range of days. [/quote]

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