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[quote=Anonymous]First, you owe no one's feelings a duty when it comes to your child's safety.

Second, at least in this context, when all else fails, the last thing standing between your child and a potential disaster is their ability to remember and follow pre-incident safety training. You suggested your child may need some work in this regard.

Third, teach your child as others have suggested:

"If you see a gun, STOP; DON'T TOUCH; LEAVE THE AREA; TELL AN ADULT.

Fourth, teach your child the (adapted) rules of firearm safety:

1. [All guns are real, even if somebody says they aren't and even if they don't look real.]

2. All guns are always loaded. All the time. Always.

3. Never point a gun at anything you are not willing to destroy.

4. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to fire.

5. Be sure of your target, and what's beyond it.

6. Anybody with a gun who doesn't follow these rules is a danger to your life.

People differ on when children should be exposed to guns. Some families have a hunting or recreational tradition, and start early, with supervision. This can be fine, but one must be mindful of the risk that "familiarity breeds contempt."  People who handle guns regularly can become careless. (So can people who have no familiarity with guns.). Children especially are at risk of over-confidence. "I know how to shoot."

If you can't talk to your neighbor about this, you probably don't know them well enough to count on them to take care of your child anyway. PP's are correct that a military person should have an above average level of security and safety training, but you can't count on that alone. It doesn't have to be an adversarial cross examination. Ask them what kind of shooting they like. Where do they do it?  Do they involve their kids?  How?  "That's interesting."  Then you can get into the harder stuff:  "So I guess you must have a pretty nice safe?"  "How do you make sure the kids can't get to the guns unsupervised?"  And a very important question:  "How do you like to store your 'house/home defense/carry' gun(s)?"

There was a time when lots of people kept guns in the closet or a display cabinet or in a bedside table. The kids were told to leave them alone and they did. There was less cinematic misuse of guns and many if not most kids had at least some idea of the destructive power of a gun in real life.

Those days are gone. There is a reason people have to be of age to buy a gun.

So have the conversation, or bite the bullet and say that it's nothing personal but you'd rather the kids just play at your house where you can keep an eye on your sometimes impulsive/risk prone child.

But absolutely teach your child the "get away" and safety rules above. As PP's have observed, there may be other circumstances in which your child could come into contact with a gun.

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