Reply to Is it normal for parents (70s) to not have told their kids anything about estate planning?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, my parents refuse to tell me anything.  Recently one said the sibling had POA, not me.  Jumped for joy and finally can move out of state as let them be the caretaker from now on.  I couldn't figure out what they were hiding and now I know.  They wanted me to do all the work and sibling get to make all the decisions like when we were kids.

Some don't want to think about it, some are hiding something.

If you don't have POA its a nightmare.  [/quote]

If you have POA and you're on a cruise ship to some exotic locale enjoying margaritas and something bad happens to one of your parents..what happens if they can't reach you?  You'll be off having fun, playing in the ocean, zip lining or whatever completely oblivious to your parents' emergency.  Do you think the world should stand still and no decisions made until they can reach you?  Of course not.

Stuff happens even when things are perfectly put in place.  You can't stop living your life simply because your parent is getting older.  In fact, I'm sure that's the last thing your parent would ever want you to do.  Thus the vagueness...[/quote]

That is the problem.  I haven't been able to travel or do much for several years as I was the guardian to another family member.  My sibling is out of state, only comes home for a few days 1-2 times a year and has never helped the family in anyway and expects everyone to cater to them. Sibling travels 4+ weeks a year too.  They will not drop everything for the emergency or go to a nursing home care plan meeting.  I am the one close by and I am the one who has been dragged into doing everything, including with my own money to buy things like walkers.  I get the calls, not my sibling about the parent not being in compliance with doctors or therapists.  So, if I wasn't chosen as POA, why am I fielding those calls when my sibling needs to do it.  They should have put me as primary and sibling as secondary or both of us joint.  Why should I do all the hard work with no authority?

So, now I'm going on my cruise and not worrying about getting all those phone calls as I'm happily handing out my siblings number and say call them as the POA, I have no authority.  Sibling will say call me but cannot do that now as I have no authority.

None of them have any concept of what its like being a caregiver.  I just did it for 5 years.  Happy to do it for the person I did it for as they loved and appreciated me.  And, yes, my life did stop.  The one time we traveled for 4 days, something bad did happen and I had to fly back to take her to the ER as nursing facility refused any medical care and it was a fracture.  [/quote]

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