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[quote=Anonymous]I have a 12 yr DD in 7th who has had a rough start to the school year. She had two medical issues where she had to be hospitalized.  She was also home for a few weeks following.
She was unable to look at or do school work which meant that it piled up.  Once back at school she communicated with teachers regarding when and how she was going to do make up items following her absences.  However after doing well for about a week and a half I realized that the making up of the previous work and keeping up with the current assignments was too much for her.  My husband works from home and I asked him to manage DD a bit.  I explained that she gets overwhelmed when she sees too many tasks and doesn't know where to go or what to do so she sits in her closet and reads.  She closes everything out and just reads books.

He told her to make a list of the things she needs to do and get on with it. I explained that she can't do that...she needs a more gentle approach and I sit in her room in her comfy chair and she sits on the bed or at her desk.  I work on my computer and she does homework.  Once in a while I ask how's x going and she says I finished it. I say did you proof read it? She says yes or no, does a read through herself does some changes and turns it in on google classroom or puts in her backpack to turn it.  A few nights of doing this until 10pm and she finished the quarter with all A's.

My husband thinks that this is too much and that she should just get on with it.  I think that she needs coaching on how to deal with a pile of tasks and how to prioritize.  I tried to explain that she and I went through all her classes together - yes she wrote the list. But I explained why she should put due dates and also wrote out the week of what she was going to work on each day.  He feels this is too much time spent by the parents (me)  and DD should just get on with it because that is what he did.  Trying to explain to him that she is not the same person as him is proving difficult and honestly I think his approach is cruel in the way he speaks to her. She is considered gifted but she needs help focusing if she get overwhelmed.  We did not do this in elementary school because homework was always finished in class.  Last year, near the end of 6th grade I noticed this behavior when I logged into Parentvue to see a test score and saw that a few assignments were missing.  I asked what she was doing in her room and she said reading.  So I sat with her while she wrote e-mails to teachers about missing assignment and then she worked on the assignments while I sat in her room. It's frustrating but I think it will get better as she matures.  I do not help DD with homework or assignments.  When I look at her projects she always produces something that is far superior to anything I did at her age.  She is more than capable of doing it, just needs moral support while doing it. She is currently taking 2 high school level courses.

Am I to involved? Husband and I got into a fight about it this morning as our family cannot attend an activity together today because I need to go over items for next week with DD and make study plan for next week.  Husband leaves for work travel tomorrow so no chance to do activity on Sunday and other DS has a sports tournament tomorrow so no chance to work with DD tomorrow.
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