Reply to Parent with Alzheimer's: how do you handle all the phone calls?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Parent with Alzheimer's: how do you handle all the phone calls?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. thanks for the advice. We are putting my dad on Seroquel but we are still figuring out the right dose (and are starting with extremely low dose) so calls have not stopped.  When my mom was alive it was easy for her to redirect my dad.  After her sudden death it is trickier with the aides.  My dad doesn't trust them since he doesn't really understand who they are or why they are there.  They try to redirect but he is extremely stubborn. Often they are the ones calling me to have me help calm him down, but I really don't have the bandwidth to help and it is difficult to help on the phone.  I have young kids and a demanding job (my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at a relatively young age). At times he thinks the caregivers killed my mom so understandably he is upset -- I would be upset too if I thought I was locked in an apartment with my spouse's murderer.   [/quote]

Hi OP,

This is a rough disease.  Does your Dad do exercise?  We found that really helped with Mom over the years.  We had caregivers taking her out for walks every day
unless it rained.  Mom was always a walker pre alzheimers. The walks kind of wore her out a bit.

Does Dad have other activities?  Raking leaves etc?  Does he do chores?  Hitting golf balls?  If you can keep him on a schedule with activities/chores that will help.  I am not in the DC area but there are some free day programs where the caregiver can take Dad to the free day program of activities and lunch.

Diet is important too.  We've found eliminating sugar and and processed foods and eating lower carbish and plenty of fats helps her cognition.

We find caregivers that have actually worked on a lock down dementia unit do better but are hard to find.  The caregivers should be able to function on their
own without calling you.  It is okay to tell the caregiver that he can be in one room and they can be in another.  We've had problems with caregivers
"hovering" over Mom and that increased her anxiety.  You can get a nanny cam for caregiver if they are in another room.

The alz.org website has some non drug anxiety reducing techniques the caregivers can use that we've found helpful in the past.  I printed it out for
our caregivers.

Dad died about 1-1/2 years ago but Mom still looks for him.

dementia patient  "Where is George?  Where is my husband?  Where is George?  ....endless cycle of repetitive questions

caregiver "George is in on a business trip.  He is a very good husband.  You have been married a long time.  What do you want for lunch? Do you want
chicken or do you want a hamburger?

dementia patient again  "Where is George?" I want my husband."

caregiver  "George is on a business trip. We are making lunch now.  Do you want chicken or hamburger?

Consider coming up with some kind of script to give caregivers if Dad is looking for Mom and thinks they murdered her.
Have all caregivers use the same script.

Also....have caregivers deploy open ended questions to Dad when he starts the repetitive loops.

I had to type things out for the caregivers to say so they would have scripts on hand.

Some examples to say if Dad thinks caregiver murdered wife:

Dad to you or to caregiver:  "Where is my wife?  What did you do to her? I want my wife?"

You or caregiver:  Your wife is in heaven. You were married for 40 years.  You had a great marriage and your wife is wonderful.  We are getting ready
to cook dinner. Do you want chicken or fish?  Do you want green beans or corn?

I know it is very, very tough.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics