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[quote=Anonymous]37 year old lesbian here, and when I came out to my parents at age 16 they also were "afraid for me" because the world was a slightly different place then (hell, with a Trump presidency, we have kind of gone back there in some respects).

I hear a lot of what you're saying, OP - that it doesn't change your goals for your child and the way that you parent her - but fundamentally there are things that would've been easier for my wife and I had we been heterosexual. We got married at a time when same sex marriage wasn't yet federally legal - and there is always a deep down fear of those protections being rolled back. We had our names legally changed through the court system even after getting legally married because I was afraid a day would come when the marriage certificate may not hold up.

In addition, we've had to go through great lengths to have children. Yes, some couples we know have taken matters into their own hands and down artificial insemination at home, at no cost to them, and haven't done second parent adoptions - but this isn't smart at all. Having our two boys cost us tens of thousands of dollars between ART and legal stuff - and we started when my wife was relatively young (28).

There are also still states where one can be fired for being gay. There's no way around that kind of prejudice - it's real and it sucks.

I admire your optimism, OP. But I think it's important to be realistic too. And I'll say that by and large, DW and I have a dream life, certainly one I never thought I'd have when I was your daughter's age. But that isn't to say we haven't had our share of challenges along the way that were solely because we are a same sex couple. [/quote]

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