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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wasn't particularly close to my brother's tween, and then I took her to lunch and wow, turns out I didn't know her at all--she's really interesting and smart etc.  And now we've started our own little relationship apart from her mom or the two nuclear familes getting together.  It's really nice.

I say take her to lunch or dinner, OP.[/quote]

I’d love to but her mom is really possessive of her and literally won’t let us do anything with her without her being there.  We’ve invited her to stay with us for weekends or weeks in the summer or just an afternoon, and my SIL will insist on being there.  They still sleep in the same bed.  BIL is no longer in the picture much.  It’s close to impossible to develop a relationship with her at all.

When we asked, SIL said she would appreciate money.  Which SIL would appreciate.  I have no sense that it would go to something special for my niece though.  (for the record, SIL has a middle class government job, as do we, and doesn’t need our money.  MIL pays her rent and FIL buys her cars every few years. MIL or FIL also buy my niece big electronic stuff every year...a tablet, Apple Watch, iPad, or similar. So she doesn’t need anything like that.)

In past years, I’ve made things for her like a personalized calendar with pics of her and my son, her only cousin...cute picture frames, stationery with her name on it, that kind of thing.[/quote]

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