Reply to Poll about parents and in laws & money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]My mom (Dad is deceased)[/b]

1. Do they babysit at all for your kids? How many times a year?

2. How many times do you visit them a year?

Usually, we visit once a year for Thanksgiving.  This year, we can't travel as a family to medical issues with one of our kids.  So, I'll go see her in January, either by myself or possibly with one of my kids.

3. How many times do they visit you a year?

Once a year, close to or on Mother's Day.

4. If you fly.. Who pays for their plane tickets if they visit you?

She pays for her own plane ticket.

5. If you fly.. Who pays for your plane ticket if you visit them?

We pay for our own plane tickets.

6. Who general pays if you eat out or do an outing?

Usually, she takes us out to a restaurant for Tgiving, and we take her out for Mother's Day.

7. Do you borrow money from your parents?

I haven't so far. My mom has given us Christmas gifts of $ for the kids' 529, and pays for music lessons for one of my kids.  There isn't an expectation that this $ will be repaid.

8. Do they borrow money from you or do you assist in any of their month to month expenses?

9. Do you have savings benchmarked to care for your parents as they age?

10. Do you plan to take your parents or in laws in as they are aging if they are in a position they can no longer live alone and have your discussed with spouse?

That is not the plan, and certainly wouldn't be our first choice.

[b]DH's Dad (his mom is deceased) [/b]

1. Do they babysit at all for your kids? How many times a year?

Right now it's a lot.  Before my child became sick, it was probably once every couple weeks. Since my kid became sick, my other kids have spent many weeks at his house, and when we're all home, he does a lot of things like staying with sick kid so we can do something with the other kids, or taking other somewhere if we can't go.  He has also spent the night with sick kid in the hospital, and been through extensive training to be able to care for sick kid by himself.

2. How many times do you visit them a year?

Usually once a week.

3. How many times do they visit you a year?

Right now, a couple times a week.

4. If you fly.. Who pays for their plane tickets if they visit you?

We live a few miles apart. So, there are no planes involved.

5. If you fly.. Who pays for your plane ticket if you visit them?

See above.

6. Who general pays if you eat out or do an outing?

We don't do a lot of going out and outings are usually things like the kids' games, which are free.

When there is something like a meal out, then whoever invited pays.  If he's babysitting and takes the kids somewhere he pays.

7. Do you borrow money from your parents?

We haven't had to, but if we did I know he'd be generous.

8. Do they borrow money from you or do you assist in any of their month to month expenses?

9. Do you have savings benchmarked to care for your parents as they age?

10. Do you plan to take your parents or in laws in as they are aging if they are in a position they can no longer live alone and have your discussed with spouse?

I wouldn't hesitate to do this.  It's the norm in DH's family, and we'd be happy to have him.

[b]DH's Grandfather (because he's an important part of the family!)[/b]

1. Do they babysit at all for your kids? How many times a year?

Is our regular after school babysitter, 5 days a week.  We pay him for this.

2. How many times do you visit them a year?

He lives with DH's Dad (above).  We go over there for dinner every Sunday.

3. How many times do they visit you a year?

He's at our house 5 days a week.

4. If you fly.. Who pays for their plane tickets if they visit you?

N/A

5. If you fly.. Who pays for your plane ticket if you visit them?

N/A

6. Who general pays if you eat out or do an outing?

We do, unless DH's Dad is there, then he might.

7. Do you borrow money from your parents?

No, he is on a fixed income.

8. Do they borrow money from you or do you assist in any of their month to month expenses?

The money we pay him helps with his month to month expenses, but it's definitely earned!

9. Do you have savings benchmarked to care for your parents as they age?

10. Do you plan to take your parents or in laws in as they are aging if they are in a position they can no longer live alone and have your discussed with spouse?

My guess is that he'll live with his son (DH's Dad) for the rest of his life, but if somehow that stopped working, we'd be happy to have him.

[/quote]

I love this post. Dad and grandpa FTW![/quote]

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