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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine is the most common of problems.  I want to have better and more frequent sex and intimacy, she wants to be left alone.  We used to schedule once a week, or so (worked out to 2-3x a month) but most of the time she clearly would have preferred to be left alone.

So after years of this dynamic, I have backed off.  Going on 4 months, no sex.  At first, it really, really sucked but now I really don't miss sex with her.  Definitely less resentment, ironically.  She has mentioned about scheduling it again, but I am skeptical this is anything but her feeling guilty about not doing something I used to push for.

Question - do women regain libido if they are left alone for a while?  Meaning, can desire rebuild over time?  Anyone successfully used a long sex break as a positive step?[/quote]

Yeah, it's funny. So much of the conversation centers on *sex,* when it's really *desire.* The reality is, the majority of the time it's not that the uninterested spouse isn't interested in sex. They just aren't interested in sex with *you.* And yes, you're falling into a very predictable pattern - uninterested spouse (usually the woman) feels guilty, and feels she must do the bare minimum to ensure that you do not stray. And you, having now gone without and realized that you're not really missing much with her, are perfectly happy to help yourself. Until you're not anymore. And then ...

This is the end. She's either done with sex, or, more likely, she's done with sex *with you,* at least in its present form (i.e. routine, boring, and just, well, YOU). So, sure, back off, do more around the house, give her "space" to reclaim her lost "libido" (aka desire for sex with the same person for the rest of her life) whatever. Good luck.[/quote]

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