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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Recently found out about spouse’s affair.  Still trying to get the whole truth out, but let’s leave that part alone for now.  What I need help with is finding a therapist for myself who has experience working with betrayed spouses.  And I need help finding a divorce lawyer for an initial consultation.  I’m in Montgomery county and work in DC - would go to therapist/lawyer in either location.  Any suggestions or advice on how and where to look?

Thanks![/quote]

For attorney I would highly recommend Howard Soypher in Bethesda.  He is excellent.    301.298.4801.     Please, please, please go see him.   If you decide to divorce, use him.  If you decide to reconcile, use him to draft a post-nuptial agreement.  If your spouse will really never cheat again, she will have no problem signing it.   Please do this.   I caught my husband cheating, we went to therapy and after a year I thought our marriage was better then ever only to find out 10 years later, he never stopped cheating.  Therapy made him better at hiding it.  How I wish I had gotten a post nuptual.  Would have saved a lot of agony and money in the divorce.     In terms of a therapist, chose carefully.  If the therapist frames the cheating as being your fault in any way shape or form, run like hell.    You may have contributed to a lot of dysfunction in your marriage but you were in no way responsible for the choice your spouse made to lead a double life.    Check out this blog, it will save your sanity:  chumplady.com   esp about "still trying to get the whole truth".  That's a game you don't want to play and will never, ever win.         Sorry you are going through all this.      [/quote]

Just called Soypher.  He charges for initial consult at normal hourly rate.  Is that normal?

Yes this “getting to the whole truth” thing is super hard.  I’m taking a pretty hard line that I need it to happen quickly or I’m not tryin got reconcile.  Right now I don’t trust I’m being told the truth, and I’m taking steps to get it all.[/quote]

Yes, it's normal to charge for consult.     He charges a bit more then some others you may call but less then many.   I can assure  you will save money working with him over using someone cheaper.  My ex husband used someone cheaper and spent literally triple what I spent because Howard is no BS and doesn't waste your time with BS. He is to the point and got me way more then the courts would have given me in my divorce.  Sadly, now that people know I'm divorced, I get asked who to use on a regular basis.  I have referred several other people to him (2 of them left their previous attorneys and switched to him) and they report the same experience I had with him.         [/quote]

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