Reply to Separate finances: how to deal if one spouse isn't saving enough for retirement

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[quote=Anonymous]I have no idea why anyone in your situation would have ever gotten remarried. Helpful, I know. Why on earth did you marry this man? Is it because your exes moved on, and you wanted to look like you still “had it” and weren’t knocked on your @ss by your divorce to your social circles? Is it because you were scared of aging alone, and you thought this would insure against that? Was this an affair that became public and you needed to “legitimize” it by getting married? You seem like a planner with foresight, so I’m stumped.

You have gained nothing and even his kids will be further screwed when they apply for college financial aid. There’s already going to be a rift between the kids when one set has college paid for, but now his kids will hate you even more when they have to account for your income in the college application process, but won’t benefit from it.

I’d tell DH what you laid out here. I’d be completely resentful if I were in your situation, too. Tell him that he needs to nut up and get CS out of his ex or that this isn’t going to work out long term. [/quote]

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