Reply to Rabbi/rebbetzin making parents feel bad about bar/bat mitzvah parties

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[quote=Anonymous]We are having an issue with the rabbi and his wife making parents, including us and the others in our class, feel bad about planning big parties after the ceremony, saying quite strong criticisms about "just being after public recognition" and "taking the meaning out of the day" and other nasty statements.

When it happened to me, I had just asked about attaching balloons to the synagogue sign so that our guests could find the right place.  I was taken aback since our party is much less elaborate and we have gone out of our way to include all the congregants who want to attend. The comment felt hurtful.  I didn't respond except to say okay and that I understood the point of view, but now I feel shaken up and put down when I am trying to support my child who has dedicated so much time to this event, missing out on recitals and sports meets for the past couple years, and skipping out on the school play since it conflicted with Hebrew school. If the intent was to push us out as soon as the ceremony is over, it is working.[/quote]

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