Reply to Struggling to accept gender nonconforming son

Forum Index » LGBTQIA+ Issues and Relationship Discussion

Reply to "Struggling to accept gender nonconforming son"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I don’t know anyone in real life who can relate to my struggles. I would really like to find a peer group of like-minded kids for 7 y/o DS and a support group for myself. The whole situation depresses me to no end. I pray incessantly to be the best, loving mother I can be, and I’m not particularly spiritual.

I know that my acceptance of DS is what matters most, but I can shake the feelings of shame, disgust, embarrassment when I see DS playing with barbies (that we bought!), drawing pictures of unicorns, or gleefully running around the playground with his little girl friends while all the other little boys are racing against each other or playing basketball. DS probably senses my disapproval of some of the behaviors, but I’m trying really really hard to just love him for who he is and not worry about the rest.

The most distressing part of it all is how desperately DS wants to be like his friends. We are POC and all of DS’ friends are white. He has said that brown people stink and that blonde, straight hair and blue eyes are better (than brown eyes or curly hair). If my extended family knew of how he speaks about our culture, they would be appalled. We talk all the time about the inward and outward beauty of brown and black folk, but none of it resonates.

I read the other long thread about the OP with a similar kid and I know everyone will tell me that I need to love DS for who he is, I have no reasons to fear, not accepting DS would be far worse, etc etc and the rational part of me gets all that. But the rational part of me is overrun with the emotional side of me. I feel this strange grief and loss over all this.

I’m sure I will also be slammed as a terrible mother who’s destroying my child’s life and I definitely don’t want that either. I’m just struggling mightily with DS and since I can’t talk to anyone about this in real life, I’m writing about it here.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics