Reply to Estranged Mother and Brother Trying to Reconnect

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[quote=Anonymous]This is a tough one. My DH has a serious issue with his family and cut most of them off for a long while. I won’t go into the reason but a similar level of issue and he had good reason.

A few years ago, he did reconnect. They aren’t close and he still keeps them well at arms length but I think is happier/more at peace this way? It helps that we live across the country..we see them once/yr or so for a long weekend and always stay at a hotel and limit time to some degree (we don’t spend all day with them). He talks to them on the phone once every 2-3 months I think, and they are friends on FB so they see some pics of the kids (though he doesn’t post all that much). We don’t allow them to be with our kids (older elementary/middle school aged) alone.

So far it seems to be working ok? And DH seems happier with this arrangement than before. ILs are behaving better because I think they know he is serious and will absolutely cut them out again if they step out of line to that degree again.

But do what works for you- every situation is different. It would really depend on how repentant they are. After what happened I would never truly trust them again, and wouldn’t allow them alone with or to influence your children. But it is sometimes possible to maintain a more limited relationship. [/quote]

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