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[quote=Anonymous]DH is an amazing dad and partner, but he has a very short fuse that can blow up in unpredictable places, usually if there are more external stressors but sometimes in just really random places. More recently this has been about once a week, when something will trip him up and he goes from 0 to 60 in expressing his frustrations via yelling, which usually drags me in and ends up with me in tears. Later on he'll be remorseful, we'll talk it out, see each other's point of view, etc. He's also a very engaged dad and great husband to me, pulls his weight in housework, etc.

He's in counseling to work on healthy ways of expressing emotions and we've done couples counseling, and will probably be back. I have my own contributions, as one of the things that can set him off is feeling like I'm controlling him (which he's uber-sensitive to b/c of his controlling mom), but my take is that it's fine to be upset or angry, but it's not okay to YELL YELL YELL with out of control emotions, especially now we have our DC, who is 2. I do have hope that DH can grow in this area but I don't know.

Why this is in parenting forum--DC generally ignores the explosions or just keeps playing, etc. but as he gets older, I'm very worried at the impact on him. Anyone have experiences to share of any similar patterns (whether from you or spouse) and impact on kids? I know that we'll try to do things like reconcile in front of him, hug each other and apologize etc.

I don't want DC to get the idea that all emotion is bad. Something I love about DH is that he IS emotionally expressive (it just runs over a little too much in this area). And I also don't want him to get the idea that yelling like a nutzo is the only way to deal w/big emotions. I know that I can only parent the child I have, and however he ends up expressing emotions, I can work to support him to do it in healthy ways. I wish DH had more of that as a child, sigh. TIA.[/quote]

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