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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, you caved and it's probably too late to change that.  But you can save yourself from the rest by being direct.  It's good practice for the next time.

"Mom - you know that I am only going because I was pressured into it. I'm not looking forward to it, I'm not excited about the logistics, and my feelings aren't going to improve with your repeated insistence on telling me how great it's going to be.  I do not want to talk about it.  Please drop it and stop bringing it up."

You need to respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself.  It is ok to expect that your feelings are respected.  Period.[/quote]

While ideally OP could do this and it would end the "Isn't it going to be just great!" chatter, the reality likely is that a firm "I'm not looking forward to it, I'm not excited" is only going to spur mom and SIL to double down and press OP even harder to enjoy all this. Or it will go in a worse direction and make OP the big, bad villain when SIL tells OP's brother that OP said "I was pressured and am not looking forward to it," and brother melts down and huffily withdraws the invitation or whatever. Again, frankness would be adult and ideal, but the mom and SIl are not being very adult about it, and OP has said that the ship has sailed on backing out, so it's time simply to focus on reducing drama and pushing through this trip.

OP, change the topic Every. Single. Time. Be brief, be bland and then redirect. "Bar mitzvahs are such special occasions, yes. --Have you heard that cousin Sally is going to start a new job?...." Etc.

Are you traveling WITH them or maybe at least with mom all the way from the US to Israel? If so, bring a lot to do. Books, books on your tablet or  phone, podcasts, a journal to write, cards to write, games on your devices, whatever. Be busy with something you can turn to: "Yeah, mom, it's still ten hours until we land, so I'm going to listen to music and shut my eyes so I'm well rested. You get some rest too." Repeat as needed. It may help you keep your sanity. Same on buses headed for tour sites or whatever.

Don't be afraid to scope out a place in the hotel where you can slip away and check out for a while if the event goes on and on and on. If mom and SIL are still trying to get you to act bubbly and super happy to be there-- brief, bland, new subject. "I agree, the food's really good, especially the (whatever). Oh, there's aunt So and So, I'll just go over and say hi" (as you say hi on the way to saying hi to "someone else" who actually is the hotel lobby corner where you can decompress).

I get it. I have relatives who have done the same to me. "Isn't this wedding going to be amazing?! I bet you can't wait! I can't wait! Are't you excited?!" etc. Just find one positive thing to acknowledge and then change topics or disengage a bit with something to do on the side.[/quote]

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