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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How are you responding to the things he brings up? Listening and validating his feelings but leaving the problem-solving to him? Or solving and fixing? Or trying to minimize his distress by telling him what he's worried about isn't such a big deal? 
When a kid just wants to vent, the latter two can work to increase his negative emotions. It's more important for him to feel heard and understood than it is to have "answers." Forgive me if I am off the mark--but I learned this lesson the hard way.[/quote]

OP here (last post too, forgot to ID). Those are good points. I absolutely do not minimize his issues because I remember how that felt. I probably do try to help in problem solving or rather providing some options and maybe I need to do less of that. The ride to school is not long and the issue is really that we don't have time to talk through complicated things then, but he seems to want to and then gets upset. But these things never bubble up with dad. (e.g., band day with me - he was in full-on tears yesterday because he doesn't like the teacher; band day with dad - gets his instrument out of the car and heads to school, no discussion at all). [/quote]

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