Reply to estranged sibling comes back for inheritance and help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your sibling is estranged and you don't blame your parents at all? Why are you so invested in not letting her back into the family?[/quote]

OP here. Oh I think they were all to blame. My issue is not with letting her into the family. My issue is with her expecting massive favors when she can pay people to do these favors. Both my brother and I gave up career opportunities to be able to manage work and sandwich generation stuff. She on the other hand could rise up in her career without the burden of difficult parents (now there is is just one). Parents can do what they want with their money and will, but I am certainly not traveling out to help a sister who is MIA anytime anyone else has needed help. I also finding it fascinating that she can do little to nothing and people are just happy she shows up. Meanwhile my brother and I are supposed to carry the load and take care of her somehow. No thank you.[/quote]

Well, you and any other siblings have complete control whether you do her favors. You mentioned about her apparently being in the hospital--is this a frequent thing? serious thing? You're getting flack from your parents and/or other relatives because she had gall bladder surgery and wanted someone to hold her hand for an overnight hospital stay, or was there something serious?

Also, the MIA part can be complicated and there could be a side to that you don't know about, or it certainly could be that living far away she was able to not see or appreciate the work other sibs were doing, or maybe she thought the parents should outsource more of their care and were refusing to and guilt-tripping you guys into doing that. There are lots and lots of possibilities.

But one should always be careful about treating relationships as a ledger. Not saying it never makes sense, just be careful. [/quote]

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