Reply to When do you stick up for your kid and when do you just force them to cope?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a 3 year old who is relatively sensitive/ non-assertive.  We often hang out with a group of friends who have kids that are slightly older than her (3.5-5).  Sometimes the older kids will tease her, call her a baby or say things like "you're a stinky face."  Stupid stuff.  They do this to all of the kids, not just mine.  But mine always come over to me in tears to report that the other kids aren't being nice.

My approach so far has been to tell her to tell the kids what she wants "e.g. I want you to call me Larla.  Don't call me mean names."   She always wants me to come with her when she talks to them, so that means that I end up accompanying her to the area where the kids are playing and interrupting the other kids' conversations/play to say  "Larla has something to tell you."  And then she says her piece while they look at her like "huh?  We moved on from that 5 minutes ago!"

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do in these circumstances.  I want her to learn to let things roll off of her back more, but I also want her to learn to stick up for herself and not tolerate BS.  For now, she's only able to stick up for herself if I come with her....which then makes the whole situation weird.  Obviously, if she were 10, it'd be super socially awkward to have your mom do this sort of thing.  She's only 3, but it already feels kinda weird--like to the extent the other kids are making fun of her for being babyish, my presence is going to make it worse.

For what it's worth, there's nothing about her that's particularly babyish up until her feelings get hurt--she's a pretty average 3 year old, but she does retreat/come find me when kids tease her/call her names.

Any suggestions for how I could handle this better?[/quote]

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