Reply to My DD wants to go into the military but I'm concerned as to the underlying reasons

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm asking on DCUM because I know a lot of you are from military families.  I don't know a lot about the military, and so might have some assumptions that you can correct, and I apologize in advance for what might be really dumb statements.

So, my 15 y.o. DD (freshman) is super-athletic and outdoorsy.  She's also highly disciplined and has every second programmed as to her workouts and study time etc and has excellent grades. She has played a team sport since age 4; great team player.  Heads out into the wilderness every chance she can get.  Very focused on the flora/fauna (how many hawks and their location, what native plant is in bloom when, etc).  Has done a couple of wilderness excursions (learning to backpack and survive in the wild).

My ILs are retired Navy, and my DH wanted to go into the Navy but never could due to asthma.  We don't have a boy, and she is our last kid....I think my DH has sort of done the stereotypical "boy-I-never-had-who-can-do-what-I-didn't-get-to-do" route with her (football, lots of war movies) and she bonds with him over that.

My DD wants to go into the military but my concern is that her view is glorified.  I think what she wants is wilderness, physicality, teamwork and discipline (like in the movies).  I don't think she understands that she will not be able to control what she is doing and where she is located.  For instance, she has really bad eczema and could be located in a desert.  Or she could get an assignment to work in a basement.  I've talked to her about that; about thinking more about stuff like search-and-rescue or forest ranger or field biologist.

I admit that I am also not familiar with how much control one gets over their job/location when in the military; I'm just making that assumption.

And I'm also concerned about the idea that one can be put in dangerous situations but one cannot quit (unlike, say, forest ranger--if you don't like it you can quit).

And I'm concerned re the culture as it extends to females (the news makes it out to be a culture where rape is more common and hushed up)

I thought this was a phase, but another DD told me that "it's not a phase, mom, she wants to do it, she just has stopped telling you."  Whoops.

So. I've got many questions I'd like DCUM folks who have military experience either themselves or in their family to weigh in on.  Whether my assumptions are correct; if not, how am I off?  And if my concerns are valid, what are other fields I can have her look into, or should I have her go to college first?  Also the following:

If she's set on this, then are there pre-college programs that I should look into?  How is a military college route different than a non-military 4 year college and then the military?

I know she is 14 and things can change, however; this has been going on for a few years now, and, I think if I'm to accept it I'd like to explore things she can do in high school that can help her decide, or help her chances (in getting into a military college) going forward.  argh as I type I barely know what I'm talking about.  I just want to learn more so I know how I can be of assistance to her, either way.

Thank you in advance...[/quote]

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