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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your parents probably won't ever be as easy-going as your DH parents, but event minor adjustments may help.

I had to have a talk with my mom who expected that when she is here (and she is here two times a year about five weeks each time) we need to socialize all the time, have people over on weekends, have long chats with her every night into midnight, that we fetch her her brand of shampoos on demand, extra table lamps, fix her computer immediately, buy her her favorite groceries as soon as asked, drive her around, etc. etc. After my hints that we both have full time jobs and two kids with homework and activities and we can entertain her one weekend, but not for five weeks, I had to have a frank discussion that we are not running a resort and we are happy to have her, but some nights I want to talk to my husband - alone, read a book, not have special occasion every weekend, etc. - she actually understood and would often just go read in the guest room or go for walks on her own or cook and not make a big deal out of it.

Your situation is completely different, [i]but sometimes explaining that you have kids and formal is hard, you want help with dinner or cleanup might make your life easier.[/i] [/quote]
Omg it would be ww3! They are just of such a different mentality, like they put in their time and are elders who must be celebrated. If I said we were having carryout and I only had Diet Coke, it would be seen as a personal insult to them as matriarch and patriarch.[/quote]

So let them be upset. They can see you a lot or they can be waited on hand and foot. See your ILs when you want to. [/quote]

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