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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
At first it was kind of nice to continue seeing them so often since they moved and were no longer a couple blocks away, but it has gotten rather annoying. They often drop by when we are busy doing something else, have friends over for our kids, are about to leave to go somewhere, etc. We have asked them several times to call first to make sure we are free but they rarely do. Occasionally they will text and say “stopping by in 5” and we will write back that it’s not a good time but they still come over anyway. [i]DH brought it up once more seriously and his friend took it really personally and said we are like family so our door should always be open, and then nothing changed (even though DH reiterated that it’s just not always a good time).[b]

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You are going to need to be direct and make some decisions.  Does your actual family just stop by without warning even if you are ready to go out the door to change your niece or nephews diaper?  If not, you need to tell them that  may be true with their family but your own sister doesn’t just stop by without notice even when you say it’s not a good time.  And when you say  it isn’t a good time, that means they need to plan a different time that works for both families not just the time that works for them.   If they push back, I would call them out it, say if unfettered access to our home whether or not we are there or it’s a good time for a visit is a requirement for us to be friends this is going to be a problem.  It doesn’t feel like actually seeing us and spending quality time with us is your goal, otherwise you would make sure we will actually be there and not in the middle of something.

To OP remember they are making a choice as well.  If they continue to overstep once you’ve made it crystal clear and direct, that means they are willing to jeopardize the friendship over this or maybe you aren’t really a good match as friends if they’ve placed a premium on not having those boundaries with their friends.

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