Reply to WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Could use some advice/perspective. There's a boy in DD's high school, a grade above her, who is viewed by a lot of the girls as "creepy." Stares at girls, comes on to them, can't take no for an answer. Overall, though, DD never had any particular issues with him and said they got along okay (they are at a small school and everyone knows everyone). This boy seems to have turned his attention to DD lately, however, and has been pestering her to go out with him for over a week. She said no, thank you, not interested, politely, but he kept badgering her about it both in person and by text, including during classes at school. When she kept saying no and finally told him he was making her uncomfortable, he got angry and abusive, and started telling her she was lucky he has asked her out because no one else would be interested in her, she was lucky he told her she's pretty because no one else would think that, etc.

DD told him his behavior was inappropriate, then blocked him on text and social media. But she came home in tears, fearing that he will now make up stories about her and try to turn other kids against her. She was sobbing uncontrollably: mix of anger ("he has no right to act that way or say those things, it's wrong"); shame "what did I do that made him act this way? Maybe it's my fault"); humiliation ("maybe he's right that no one else would ever want to go out with me and I'm not pretty"); and fear of retaliation ("What if he makes up stories about me and other people believe him?").

I urged her to report this to the school, or at least discuss it with the counselor. Another girl saw most of the texts etc and would back her up. But she doesn't want to do that, because she is afraid that it will "just make things worse."  Which I totally get.

But... I also think this kid will keep acting this way, either to her or to other girls, unless/until it gets reported.

I am not sure, what, if anything, I should do.

I could:

- do nothing at all except provide hugs and a sympathetic ear (DD's preference);
- call the boy's parents and speak to them privately, urging them to speak to their son about boundaries and sexual harassment without using DD's name (but knowing that may not respect that);
- speak to the school counselor myself but ask that she keep it confidential and just be aware and keep an eye on the situation;
- speak to the dean of students myself and ask that the school investigate.

Any thoughts? How would you handle this? I want to respect DD's preferences but also worry that in the long run, not reporting this will just make it worse, for others in the future even if not for her.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics