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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] [b]I’m[/b] engaged and [b]I[/b] would like some advice on how to hold [b]my[/b] fiancé accountable for his actions.

Six months ago [b]my[/b] fiancé was suspended from his job for failing to follow company procedures. A week after being suspended, he was fired, along with 3 of his managers. He and his managers worked in sales and were throwing in unauthorized perks and discounts to improve their sales. FH admit that he knew it was not right but he thought that since his managers approved that he would be covered if corporate ever had questions. He was obviously very wrong.

With this action it has been very difficult for him to find employment. He recently landed a part time Job that pays less than 30% of what he brought in before and all that money goes to pay for his fines..

The financial burden has been left on [b]me[/b] to provide for our home. [b]My wedding[/b] has been cancelled because the expense is to great. We are opting for a courthouse option instead at a later date. It was originally going to be held September 19th. That maybe influencing how [b]I’m[/b] currently feeling.

The reason for this post is because[b] my [/b]fiancé was so distraught over this whole ordeal, that[b] I[/b] really wanted to focus on his mental health and let him know[b] I [/b]still by his side. But[b] I[/b] have failed to articulate how this whole thing makes [b]me[/b] feel, how angry [b]I [/b]am and so hurt. [b]I[/b] feel like it’s petty for [b]me[/b] to bring up the lost of my wedding but it really hurts. [b]I[/b] worked 2 jobs for 5 years to put[b] myself[/b] in a good financial position and just like that it was washed away. [b]I [/b]had just quit my 2nd job when I met FH so he wasn’t there to see the blood sweat and tears[b] I[/b] poured into my savings. And[b] I[/b] want to tell him.

[b]I[/b] had one major outburst in May when [b]I [/b]was asking him to help [b]me[/b] with the budget and he flat out refused. He said that he had nothing to offer and so therefore[b] I[/b] don’t need his help. [b]I [/b]told him that he can kill the passive aggressive BS and that [b]I [/b]don’t feel sorry for him.[b] I only feel sorry for myself[/b].

[b]I [/b] believe that[b] I[/b] offered my forgiveness to soon without him understanding the consequences of how his decisions impacted [b]me[/b].[b] My[/b] savings are gone, [b]my[/b] HSA has been depleted (FH is diabetic and it was used to cover his supplies).[b] I[/b] also added him to my insurance.

[b]I [/b]don’t know how to hold him accountable for something like this? Or if[b] I [/b]even should.[b] I [/b] know he already feels guilty and emasculated but[b] I [/b]think it’s more so because he is a man without a job and not necessarily because of what this has done to [b]me[/b]. Should that even matter?

[b]I [/b]want to be compassionate without being a doormat.[/quote]

You sound awful too[/quote]

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