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[quote=Anonymous]I’m trying to find a school year happy medium with ILs. My husband works every other weekend. During the summer months, this works or nicely because he can take our kids to visit his parents on his days off during the week. I’m at work so he drives them out there to have lunch and spends the day there. During the school year, it’s a different story and the burden mostly falls on me. I struggle finding a happy medium.

I know it’s not the norm here, but on the weekends DH has off, we like to spend time together as a family. If there is a big family event, sure we attend, but we aren’t typically visiting extended family. It’s wonderful that ILs want to visit during the week, but it’s also difficult. Also, they aren’t easy guests; they expect a nice dinner and socializing. They aren’t delivered pizza on paper plates kind of people. In fact, one day last year I invited them over to try a new burger place the kids like, and they were annoyed it wasn’t sit down. Just setting the scene.

I love that they love our kids, and I will always allow it, but the visits are always disruptive. The kids aren’t off the bus until 4:30, and because of the time they have to get up, we start showers and bedtime routine at 8. When ILs come over, it really disrupts the routine. This is fine, we usually plan it on a day DH is off so he can help with the socializing and also help with the bedtime routine. And also my ILs always feel like it isn’t enough quality time.  I’m wondering what my obligations are on weekends when DH isn’t home.

Am I obligated at all to give up a weekend day to spend it with ILs when DH is at work? Or are weekday evenings only OK during the school year, school breaks and holidays aside? [/quote]

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