Reply to How to deal with a workaholic?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to deal with a workaholic?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]DH works a ton. On a typical day he is wake between 4 and 5am. He works at home until 7, when he runs, showers, and goes to work. He is at the office by 8:30am and most nights until at least 7, but often until 10,11,12. If he comes home at 7, he arrives at 7:30, eats, says goodnight to kids (maybe reads to them), and then falls asleep. At least one day a weekend he works, and when he isn’t working he is telling me all about the work he needs to do, the problems at work, etc. He runs at least 10 miles on Saturday after sleeping in , meaning he has no time for us until early afternoon- when he usually needs a nap because he is so exhausted. (Running is apparently what gives him the energy he needs to do anything) He says yes to every travel opportunity, volunteers in positions tangental to work, and never asks my opinion on any of this. He is too exhausted to do anything related to our house or family on a consistent, reliable basis. He has told me before that he has outsourced all of that to me. I also work full time, serve as the default parent, manage the house, yard, finances, etc. I am lonely because he is never home or only wants to discuss his job. I have to schedule girls night months in advance because he can never accommodate me doing anything. I grocery shop late at night when he is sleeping. When my parents visit, he doesn’t come home and I run all my errands.

Does he work big law and make tons of money? Nope. He is in education. Government job. Decent salary but not enough for me to hire out anything. Plus, he doesn’t want us spending money on that stuff. He wants nice suits, nice shoes, etc. And he pays out of pocket for most of his travel expenses for work. And he pays for frequent drinks, coffee, lunch, etc for the people who work with him. This is more important to him than a cleaner or yard crew.

When I ask him if he could just focus a little bit more on the family, or maybe reserve one night a week for family, etc, he tells me that the alternative is him getting fired. This seems extreme. He is basically telling me to deal with it.

Am I being unreasonable? He thinks I have confirmation bias and only see the bad, but even when he does help it is so inconsistent I can’t rely on it. It is like he is doing me a favor, not being responsible for anything.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics