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[quote=Anonymous]You said you found out he does this on purpose, which if true would mean he is baiting you, engaging in a form of projection (now called gaslighting I suppose--where one person uses manipulation to trigger a reaction in the other person so they can blam ethem).

Are these fights over the same issue or different issues? Is there an ongoing disagreement about clutter? When you sort stuff, is it clear which is donation vs. trash? Ca you predict what situations will result in conflict? If so, presumably you can head them off.

If he's purposefully trying to spite you I wouldn't call it Aspergers. If it is what you call emotionless (garbage, good will, what's the diff if the crap is gone?) that's not necessarily ASD, could just be concrete thinking (and seems to be it's either lack of emotion/empathy OR baiting, not both).

I wouldn't necessarily jump to anger management classes, although having the cops called is certainly unnerving! I'd look at deconstructing the situations that have occurred, talking with DH about the whole cop thing (how is HE taking the incident?), work on ways to calm yourself, etc.

It's interesting that you are pointing to him as the cause of the problem--but it being him and not other people may just be the thing where intimacy breeds fewer restraints or there is this mutual pattern that has developed. [/quote]

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